If life's about the journey, does it matter how many bathroom breaks you take along the way?

My youngest, Essa, just got her first email address. Of all the puppies, ponies, and Justin Bieber images available on the World Wide Web, this is what she chose as her inaugural missive. To me.

I'm guessing Essa thinks I need a vacation. Or a metaphorical trip to my happy place.

I’m guessing Essa thinks I need a vacation. Or a metaphorical trip to my happy place.

It was titled “Make Drinks.” Did I mention she’s eight? Apparently the fruit and the tree are forever intertwined.

58 thoughts on “Shortest Post Ever

    1. Oops. Can you see the image now? I promise it’s not pornograhic. =p

  1. Laura says:

    Caramba! Where’s the picture? Maybe it’s just me….

    1. Oops, probably a pre-caffeine technical difficulty. Is this better? You’re up early!

      1. Laura says:

        Oh, good one, great pic! Way to go, Essa, you’ve imprinted on your primary caregiver quite successully! Watch out when she demands a Facebook…. πŸ˜‰

      2. I’ve successfully thwarted my 6th and 5th graders’ pleas for an account, but by the time she gets around to asking I’ll probably be so worn out that I’ll just let her start sexting. =p

        Great to see you, as always, Laura.

  2. Sarah says:

    This is absolutely hilarious!!!!!! It really made me laugh out loud!

    1. Awww, Essa makes me laugh out loud too.

      Thanks, Sarah!

  3. aha!- now I understand! The fruit and tree are forever intertwined — I am glad this happy image is something your daughter relates to – I am afraid I have passed on my penchant for worrying to my two boys

    1. But maybe Essa SHOULD be worried rather than happy!

  4. Elizabeth Hansen says:


    She sees a pretty pic of a cocktail and associates it with you. Mine would do the same! Like most kids they know after mom’s had a few she’s soooooo nice!!! So at least its a positive association! πŸ˜€

    Here’s a funny one …Ash was 4 and she knew how to find my “green beer” (Indian Pale Ale) in ANY liquor store. She’d scream from the cart… “THERE’s your green beer mommy”!!!

    It’s now called my green beer.



    Sent from my iPhone 720-320-2156

    1. Love that! Essa and Ashley would be a formidable duo. Let’s make a note to ourselves to keep them apart.

      Thanks for the read and comment, Biz!

  5. Sandee says:

    You think Essa’s trying to say you need a vacation perhaps? I would take heed. They little beauty’s a wise one. They say children are atuned to these types of things πŸ™‚

  6. Sandee says:

    Oh darn! I meant, “the little beauty” of course.

    1. That’s OK, I read it as “thy little beauty” which made me feel very Queenlike. That usually only happens after a couple of cocktails. What am I trying to say, Sandee? You made my day!

      1. Love it! Who would not want to derink that…I read it as ‘thy little beauty’ too! πŸ™‚ Thanks for sharing this smile! Children are much more attuned than most grown ups because they do not have as much to clutter their minds! Ahhh, the loveliness of youth!

      2. Anytime I read a comment from you, Amber, I immediately decompress. You have a calm manner about you that I truly admire. I’m coming to visit your blog tonight, right after Essa makes me that cocktail. =p

        Thanks for visiting, I hope you’re well!

  7. daniheart21 says:

    How sweet. πŸ™‚ 8 is a sweet age.

    1. Dani, YOU’RE sweet to approve of my eight year-old’s encyclopediaesque knowledge of my consumption habits. =p

  8. Sid Dunnebacke says:

    Love it. Essa’s a treasure, just in case you need to hear that again. And don’t take this wrong, but let’s hear it for short blog posts for sure! I mean, if everyone would be just a little less willing to write and write, I wouldn’t have a constant backlog of 75 blogs to read. A blog backlog. A backblog.

    1. **Heavy Sigh**

      I hear you, Sid. By the time I get to most posts, the writer has changed the theme, format, and subject matter completely. What am I trying to say? I, like you, feel as if I’m constantly catching up, in large part because there is so much great stuff to read and so little time.

      Thanks for the Essa support. I’ll try to make sure your words are ringing in my ears when she’s 16.

      Hope you and your lovely family are well. =)

  9. stellacastro says:

    “The fruit and the tree are forever intertwined.” Love it! Thanks for a dose of laughter on a day that started out stressful.

    1. No stress allowed here, Stella. You always have a safe, if not silly refuge in my posts.

      Thank you for all the love and support. I appreciate you tons and tons. You know WE are overdue for our cocktail, right?

  10. Susan Williams says:

    Tell Essa that her Mom gives great Drink Books as gifts. I’m seriously considering having an, “Any Bitch Can Drink” cocktail party.

    1. “Do it! Do it! Do it!”
      (That was Essa talking, not me…I’m way too refined to chant.)

      On that note, maybe we should each bring a signature cocktail to Big Head Todd?

      Thanks for the love, Susan. Right back ‘atcha!. =)

  11. Ha! Don’t you feel a little busted?

    A friend of mine was running errands, and took her little one to the liquor store. Her daughter pointed at a bottle of wine and said, “Mommy’s juice!”

    Word to the juice. Or the fruity cocktail.

    1. Actually, I’m kind of surprised she didn’t forward me a picture of a Mich Ultra. =)

      Wanna know why this post is so short? I’m working on my novel again….

      1. Yay! Let me know if you need a beta reader. πŸ˜‰

      2. I’ll take you up on it. You could be my beta writer too!

  12. Carrie Rubin says:

    My sons have had email accounts for a long time, and not once have I received a spontaneous email from them. I’m jealous. And your daughter is awesome! (Just like her mom. πŸ™‚ )

    1. Awww, thanks Carrie. As I told El Guap, she’s pretty much raising herself as the last child (and I do mean last) in our family, so let’s hope she doesn’t find the corresponding recipe to that picture anytime soon. =)

      1. Carrie Rubin says:

        Haha. Yes, she’s got plenty of time before that becomes a necessity.

  13. El Guapo says:

    You have raised her well.

    1. Actually, as the last of three, she’s pretty much raising herself. Thanks, Guap. =)

  14. calahan says:

    You just have to explain to her that those Russian women in those soon to arrive emails aren’t really interested in marrying her.

    1. Good point. Or not to give her entire piggy bank to someone stuck in Ghana who can’t get home without her help. Thanks, Calahan!

      1. calahan says:

        “Mommy, Mommy! A man from Nigeria said I won the lottery! Whoopee!”

        My use of the word ‘whoopee’ is proof that I don’t actually have kids or spend time with many. Ha.

      2. I don’t know about that, Calahan. I say ‘whoopee!’ pretty much all day long. =p

  15. Marguerite Keller says:

    Essa knows how to have a good time! See ya’ll tomorrow.



    1. Dear Margie,
      If she learns how to have too much of a good time I’m sending her to live with you.
      Thanks for the kind comment,

  16. bharatwrites says:

    Kids who get new email accounts are sweet about them. This is a nice picture. It’s the sixty-pluses in the family who forward hoax emails everyday.

    1. bharatwrites says:

      And Essa is a nice name.

      1. Thank you. It’s my grandmother’s. =)

    2. Or really bad jokes.
      Or political commentary you could care less about.
      Or pictures of puppies that you could also care less about.

      The list goes on and on…. =)

  17. bronxboy55 says:

    I’m sure she thought it was a glass of lemonade. She included the umbrella because there was some rain in the forecast. And look at all that beautiful fruit. Your little sister was trying to take good care of you — so it’s true, the apple doesn’t fall far.

    1. You’re such a glass half full person, Charles. It’s one of the many reasons I like you so much. I couldn’t transfer the twinkle in little Essa’s eye when I opened my email though. It’s the twinkle that makes me nervous. =)

      1. bronxboy55 says:

        Sister? Where did I get that? I need more sleep.

      2. I noticed that, but decided to chalk it up to your glass half full optimism. I’m a Gemini you, know, so there was a little vanity infused in my supposition too. =)

  18. i mayfly says:

    Ah, a mom-daughter bonding experience. Next step – teach her how to convert/attach a wav file. She put de lime in de coconut, she drank ’em bot’ up…
    Or simply a happy picture for a happy little girl? Congratulations, Stacie, on a good job.

    1. Oh, you’re so kind Nikki, but I’m locking the liquor cabinet just in case! =p

    1. Thanks for the visit Val!

  19. Bwahahah! It’s worrisome now but think of how much fun you’ll have together at the clubs when she’s 21. Just ask Demi Moore and Dina Lohan. Partying with your daughter keeps you young forever;-)

    1. Love your comments, Kellie. You ALWAYS make me laugh out loud. =)

  20. It could have been a lot worse Staciekins. She could have used a picture of S&M Barbie.

    1. Good point, Wendy. =O

  21. aaaaaaaaw how sweet πŸ™‚

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