Tag: humor
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Have You Seen Goldie? Part II
About a month ago, I posted a silly and somewhat irreverent blog (“Have You Seen Goldie?”) about the disappearance of my daughter’s alter ego/better half/can’t-go-to-the-bathroom-without-her, perfect puppy. As time passed, however, Essa’s sense of devastation as she accepted that her bestie had vanished became immeasurable. Hard to quantify, that is, unless you compared it to…
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An Open Letter to Steve Wynn: Why the Forty-Year Oldish Woman is Your Ideal Guest
Dear Mr. Wynn, In a few short months, some friends and I will leave our families behind to make an annual pilgrimage to the capital of the United States of America: Las Vegas. We feel that as concerned citizens of the world, it’s our patriotic duty to pay homage to the mecca of glitzy-glam-glut, and…
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The Super-Secret Key to Becoming Freshly Pressed that Nobody’s Ever Told You
Before getting Freshly Pressed, I read all the advice on how to get…Freshly Pressed. Like, 24/7. I won’t regurgitate it here because you’ve all read it too. Like, 24/7. I have no proof, but it’s my opinion that there’s a super-secret, critical factor (plus a back-up plan) necessary to get this honorable, if not Wizard…
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How Skate World Changed My Life
When I was in middle school, we didn’t text, chat with our classmates on Xbox, or look up cute boys online. We couldn’t. It was the Mesozoic era, and the technology didn’t exist. So what did we do without the huge cornucopia of Apple-inspired abundance at our fingertips? We hung out. Together. As in, a…
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How Nonverbal Communication Can Improve Your Relationship (Part II)
O.K. I got way off-topic in Part I of this post, but I’ve established that I’m a Gemini, which is a perfect excuse each time I veer too far in the wrong direction. Or run into the house with my ginormous SUV. Or forget to pick up the kids at school. But I’m drifting. Now…
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How Nonverbal Communication Can Improve Your Relationship (Part I)
Unless, that is, you’re a Gemini-Sagittarius couple. If that’s the case? Give up and move on. Assuming you’re not with the wrong astrological mate or anyone who’s appeared on The Bachelor, I have some proven tips that might make life a little easier in the Mars vs. Venus, Mars vs. Mars, or Venus vs. Venus tug-of-war…
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You Gotta Pay to Play
I just got blown off the court. Again. And I’m not happy about it. Taking every day of my four decades on this earth into consideration, (O.K., four decades and some very spare change), my win-loss stats are backlit in a much more flattering hue than the numbers I’ve posted as of late. Think megapixel…
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Have You Seen Goldie?
When my youngest, Essa, first spoke, her words weren’t the usual “mama,” or “dada,” or anything normal like that. What actually came out, accompanied by a laser-like glare aimed directly at me, was; “Can I please have a golden retriever puppy, preferably female and of medium build, with a generous spirit and twinkly eyes? She’ll…
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What Would You Say if Tim Tebow Knocked on Your Door?
Chances are, you’ll never really get the opportunity to answer that question. But it’s still fun to think about. Really. If Tim Tebow knocked on your door right now, what would you say? Even though Denver is my town, TT just pulled off the biggest win of his Broncos career, and I’m a fan (I’ll…
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Making a Case for the Small Things in Life
Flying with children can be more excruciating than an outdoor back wax on a sub-zero day. Unless they’re old enough to serve as free labor and schlep all the carry-ons. Then it’s awesome. But I’m not there yet. So on a fairly recent flight from D.C. to Denver, our family got stuck in the holding…
READING BETWEEN THE PINES 